Questions like Jen LOL

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAMEyour first pet and the street that you live on) Smokey Madison
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom’s side, your favorite candy Pauline Whopper
.3. YOUR “FLY GIRL/GUY” NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name Smel LOL
4 YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal Red Dog
. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born Rachelle Huntsville
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom’s maiden name Melshsa
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The”, your favorite color, favorite drink Red Diet Drpepper
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first name of both your grandfathers Wayne Melburn
9. FUTURISTIC NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne and the name of your favorite shoes Chole Avia
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: ( mother/father’s middle name and the next name you hear on the tv/radio/talk Elaine Dorian

AF Still a no show *** TMI***

But i'm Praying she's on her way soon. I've been getting crampies and some light brown spotting but barely. I guess my body has just decided to be screwed up again. :( I've been doing the reflexology stuff the acupuncturist showed me so i'm hoping that that will help get her butt here!

Put ad in the Newspaper. Boat for sale

Billy has had this Flatbottom boat for a few years now. He actually got it as payment on a side job he was doing w/ a friend of his. It's a nice boat but we've Never used it. Some friends of ours used it once and that's the only time it's ever been used. So I told billy awhile back that if We weren't going to use it then I wanted to sell it and get rid of the thing. It's just sitting out there on risers in the side yard. So I put an Add in our local star shopper, Kinda like a penny saver thing. It went in today so i'm nervous to see if we get any calls on it. I'm praying we can sell it asap. It cost almost $1,000 and we only want $500.00 So maybe (Please God) there is someone out there who'll want it.
come on phone Ring! lol

Second Verse Same as the First

Billys work is at it again! They are closing the plant for a week again next week! He came home last night from work and told me. I hate this so much. It kills me. I just pray So hard that they will let him draw unemployment this time. If not I don't know What we'll do.

Getting used to having the house to myself

Yesterday was really good. After I got the kids on the bus I came home and made coffee and took it out on the porch and just sat. it was so nice and quiet. I also got a Lot of things done. I cleaned off the back porch/Laundry room. Did dishes, 2 loads of laundry and made all the beds. And that was all before 11:30 am. wow! lol. It's easier getting to get it done without having to break up fights and "Mom can you get me..." I Still miss my kiddos during the day though. Today so far i've gotten the dishes done, and ran to the library and took movies & books back, ran to the bank and grocery store to get a very few things. Then back home and ate lunch. Yum tuna fish lol. i've got 1 or 2 loads of laundry to get done but i've got the rest of the day to get to that lol.
I'm going to make the kids Chocolate chip cookies today too. They said they wanted brownies but the store didn't have any. So cookies will have to do. So I guess i'm getting more used to having the house to myself. I will probably get spoiled to it and then they'll start calling me to Sub again. I Need to Very soon.

My baby Girl Started Kindergarten and sweet boy started 4th grade.

Today my baby Girl started Kindergarten. And my Sweet boy started 4th Grade. I can't believe that this day has finally come. :(
Shelbie has been So excited for a long time. Today she did Incredibly great! We took Sam to his class first. Poor kiddo was so nervous for his sister. What a great big brother he is! :) I took her to her class and we walked right in and the teacher told us to put her back pack in her cubbie. so I showed her where it was and then the Teacher asked shelbie if she wanted to go over to the carpet and watch a math video with a little girl named jesse. So shelbie said Yes and we walked over to the carpet. I figured this was my cue to leave so I told shelbie Bye and that I'd pick her up off the bus after school. So shelbie said " Ok mom see ya later" I gave her a kiss and hug and she started to walk to the carpet and I just stood there like an idiot. I was frozen. Shelbie looked at me like I was nuts lol. So I hugged her again and gave her another kiss and said "Bye" and she sat down and started watching the video and didn't even look at me again. :(
Ok part of me Was :( but a Bigger part of me was and still is SoOO Thankful that she didn't cry or anything. So I left. I made it to the truck and down the road some (Going the wrong way!) before I started Bawling like a baby! I felt like a Piece of me was missing. Shelbie has been my shadow for So long. Always 1 step behind me all the time. And now that piece of me is not here at home. She's at School. I have gotten used to Sam being at school. Because he's in 4th grade. But it was still hard for me to leave him too. :(
He had a stomach ache this morning. He admitted that he was a little scared. I told him it was normal to be a little scared and that Everything was going to be ok. he seemed fine when I left him at school. And i've prayed All day that he had a Fantastic day. Shelbie too.
I can't Wait till they get home. I want to hear all about their day. I've missed them Sooooo much. The house seems and feels so empty and way to quiet.

1 Year ago Today

One year ago today I got pregnant with Zachary. I guess i'm one of the lucky ones who know exactly the date they got pregnant. I guess but i'm not to sure I like knowing. It brings up all the hurt and Pain of losing him.
1 year ago today we had a little get together with a few friends. It was supposed to be just us and M and J and their daughter. Well then another of our friends called and he came up. Then another and another LOL. It was funny because it never happens like that for us. well then it turned into a party. the kids went to bed and the adults sat around outside in lawn chairs and talked and drank a bit. I got blitzed! I never do that! And Billy got a Bit blitzed too.
Later that night you can guess what happened. After everyone left he got a bit frisky LOL and since we were both blitzed the thought of birth control went right out the window. And Zachary was conceived. Who would have thought after all we'd gone through to get pregnant On purpose with Sam and then Shelbie it would be as easy as getting drunk and forgetting BC to get pregnant again.
I was so Freaked out when I found out I was pregnant with him. I mean Freaked! I didn't want to get pregnant. But after I calmed down I realized that it was a gift from God.
I just don't know what I did to make God take that gift back. :(

Mommy Loves you and misses you So bad Sweetie.

I May just Scream!

I'm just so upset right now. It seems like everytime I turn around something is going bad. They changed Billys hours yet again yesterday. He's now working Mon-Fri 8 hours a day. Which sounds good But it means more Gas gets used so that means more Gas has to be bought! And they moved him to a differant dept so his pay gets cut! Crap Crap Crap Crap!!!!!!!
It is looking more and more like the place is going to close permantely before to long. I almost wish it would. Almost.
I went today to try to get us some help. Me, someone who said i'd never take help. I went today to apply for foodstamps. I swollowed my pride because we Need the help. But even though we had to go 2 weeks without Any paycheck we don't qualify! we make to much money! ha ha ha ha ha. We make to much money but we have problems buying food And paying our Elect bill the same week. Yah to much money! I don't understand it.
What I need to do is Pray. And Pray hard.

Just documenting

Still no AF. Don't know What is going on.
I don't want to add to my craziness but i've been feeling dizzy and sometimes almost naucious(sp) BB's don't hurt much though.
There is No way I could be Pregnant! None!
right?

Shelbies Checkup

Shelbie had her checkup monday. She had to have one before she started Kindergarten.
I'll tell ya my girl is getting big! She weighs 64 lbs. 100% percentile and is 47.1/2 inches tall. Over 100% precentile. The Dr said she was doing really good. and that her weight and height were preportionate so he wasn't worried. Hearing and Vision was great too!
Now on to kindergarten. LOL.
Watch out Teacher

Getting Up Early

This week is the start of getting the kids ready to go to school. Yikes! School starts Monday! OMG that 's so soon. Where did summer go?!
So monday night we started getting the kids in bed earlier. I think they were both in bed by 9:30 that night and 9:00 last night. We've been getting up earlier too. Man I was soo spoiled to sleeping till 8:00-9:00 am but now the alarm goes off at 6:30! man that's early! lol. Honestly though when the kids have to ride the school bus they will be getting up at 5:45 am. The bus runs at 6:30 or at least it did last year. I need to call the bus barn today and find out. Hopefully they won't be riding it to much. I am Praying hard that I get to sub as much as possible. My cousin L is a special ed aide in the self contained room and she asked me yesterday if I wanted to sub for her when she's off and I said YES! I'm so glad she asked. I signed up to sub for grades K-4th. I don't know if I can handle the smart mouth 6th grades yet. lol.

More Rumors

I'm just going to start Updating things going on with Billys job here. Everytime I post something on the board I go to something jinxes it. don't know why but it does. Billy told me monday that there are More rumors going around work. They are saying that there is going to be another batch of lay offs. :(
So far it's just rumors but you know what they say about rumors. sometimes there is a bit of truth to them. Yesterday they had a meeting and the boss was asking for people to volunteer to miss work a few days. You can guess NO one volunteered! No one can afford to! One of the dept managers is a friend of Billys and he asked billy if he wanted to miss work a few days and Billy told him straight out and Loud enough for everyone to hear " Hell NO I don't want to take a few days off! we're barely scraping by as it is!" Go Billy!!!
I have an appt tomorrow at 8:00 am. I'm praying it all goes smoothly and wonderfully Please God. I don't want to say what it's for because I don't want to be judged by some people. But then the only people who read this are my bestest friends so I know they would Never judge me. :) You know who you are ;)
I've been praying So hard that Billy doesn't get laid off. I don't know how we'd make it if he did.

Ok is my Body Screwed up again or What? TMI

I don't know What is going on. Ever since we lost Zach and I started getting AF again she's been pretty much right on time. Which is Very unusual. I used to go month without her and then she'd show her ugly head. But now she's MIA and I don't know what is going on. AF was due July 26th give or take a day. But nope she's not here. I did spot a tiny amount one day but that was It! I hate to think that my body is screwing up again.
I broke down last week and took a Pregnancy test but it was Neg. I Really didn't figure I was preg due to the fact I only have 1 ovary and we used protection. But still No AF. Arrgghh! I know most women would love for AF to stay away but Man I want her here! NOw!

Substitute Teacher Training today.

Well today was the Annual Substitute Teacher Training. There was a Big turn out! They had the training for the subs who want to do high school this morning but since I don't want to do high school I only went to the Intermediate and Primary school training. It was really good. They went more in depth this year and talked alot about more things that actually pretain to Subs. Last year they showed a video about subbing that would work more toward subs in a Big City like in california or new york etc.. It just didn't help me any.
This year a few more Teachers talked and a Substitute who's been there a few years like me stood up and talked about what to do when X happens etc.. I think it was a lot more helpful for the people who'd never subbed before.
I signed up to sub Everyday! K-4th grade. I just hope and Pray that I can sub as much as I can. we Really need the extra $$

Never mind

Billy came home last night and said that a LOT of people were ticked off at work about them Now working mon-fri and no overtime etc.. So a bunch of the guys talked to their supervisor and asked if they could just keep working Mon, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. It would have been Stupid for them the work all week and not get any overtime because soo many of the people working there live really far from work and what little money they'd make just getting 4 extra hours a week would go toward Gas and wear and tear on their trucks etc.. So the supervisor took it to the Plant manager and told him that this is what everyone wanted to do and he agreed. So Billys Back Back to Mon-Tues-wednesdays. 36 hours a week. Gosh this Sucks so bad. We're trying So hard to hold onto the money we have left in our bank account and making it last as long as we can. Billy Won't even get a paycheck THIS week either! Please God let this get better soon.

Some Good news for a Change

Well Billys work had the lay off Yesterday! It was supposed to be a meeting today but nope the managers had it yesterday instead! 45 people got laid off. :(
My heart breaks for those people. And too i'm Praising God that Billy wasn't one of them. They did change his hours agian though. He's now working Mon-Fri 8 hours a day 40 hours a week. Which does mean a bit more money BUT... It means he'll be driving Everyday and that means his old truck will suck even more gas then it does now! Which means that more $$ will be going out for Gas. Arrgghh It's a vicious cycle. He's Still worried about a possible new job though. Poor guys been in the same job for 19 years today! It's hard to change jobs anyway but when you've been at the same place fro so long it's even harder. I just want him to be in a job where they treat you right and now screw around with your hours and pay all the time. We'll see if he even gets an interview with that company or not. It's in Gods hands.

Our Dog Ollie Died

My heart is just Broken. Our Sweet loveable Lug of a dog Ollie died today. I looked for him last night when we got home from our BBQ but he didn't come to me, I figured he was chasing rabbits or something so I didn't worry to much. But then this morning I called him again and he Still didn't come and Then I got worried :( Sam said he knew where Ollie liked to go to stay cool, Under our big storage building and he took me outside to show me. Sure enough he's under there but he's not moving and when we tried to get him to move he won't! :( :(
I can't believe that my sweet dog ollie is dead. I've just cried and cried.
He had been acting differant for a little while but I thought it was just the heat. He wasn't eatting much at all. I feel like I let him down. I should have taken him to the vet, even though we couldn't afford it. I'm sorry Ollie. I'm going to miss you Forever :(
This is a Picture of Ollie (the white dog) with our other dog Roxie. He and Roxie were Best friends.

SH*T! LOTS of curse words: Beware!

Yep I said it! SHIT! I'm so tired of things going 1 step forward and 2 steps back! Billy got 3 notices in the mail yesterday concerning his Unemployment. Apparently his job is trying to keep them from drawing unemployment! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I wish I could go down there and just start Kicking some ass! I seriously now know why people go "Postal" at the jobs. The managment drives them to it!
We don't know for sure if he's for Sure not getting it but he'll fight for it as long as possible. This just makes me so mad and upset. It's just not right and not fair!
Arrgghh! * pulling my hair out*