1 Year ago Today

One year ago today I got pregnant with Zachary. I guess i'm one of the lucky ones who know exactly the date they got pregnant. I guess but i'm not to sure I like knowing. It brings up all the hurt and Pain of losing him.
1 year ago today we had a little get together with a few friends. It was supposed to be just us and M and J and their daughter. Well then another of our friends called and he came up. Then another and another LOL. It was funny because it never happens like that for us. well then it turned into a party. the kids went to bed and the adults sat around outside in lawn chairs and talked and drank a bit. I got blitzed! I never do that! And Billy got a Bit blitzed too.
Later that night you can guess what happened. After everyone left he got a bit frisky LOL and since we were both blitzed the thought of birth control went right out the window. And Zachary was conceived. Who would have thought after all we'd gone through to get pregnant On purpose with Sam and then Shelbie it would be as easy as getting drunk and forgetting BC to get pregnant again.
I was so Freaked out when I found out I was pregnant with him. I mean Freaked! I didn't want to get pregnant. But after I calmed down I realized that it was a gift from God.
I just don't know what I did to make God take that gift back. :(

Mommy Loves you and misses you So bad Sweetie.