I broke my Toe

Graceful me was walking in the living room in my socks and I kicked the stupid recliner. OMG that hurt soo bad! I knew i'd broke it right away due to the sicking Snap I heard when it happened. At first my toe was green and now it's Black. I got home from town and helping my FIL and took my shoes off and now i'm not sure i'll be able to put them back on. It hurts to walk. Man I hope it heals fast.

Fantastic Halloween Party!

We had The best time last night at our friends Halloween party. This was the 3rd year for it and it was so much fun! Well other then the hangover I had this morning LOL I felt bad for shelly because she had went to So much trouble decorating and making the party look so great and we were the Only friends that showed up. It was us, scott & shelly, shellys mom & step Dad and her Aunt and Uncle. That's it! the last 2 years were Huge parties with Lots and lots of people and this year was kinda a bomb but it was still so much fun. It was a Western theme and we had lots of "western' food like beef stew etc.. Lots of beer lol. whiskey and you name it. we build a big fire out in the yard and sat around and drank and talked and Laughed so much mine and shellys stomachs were Killing us. I don't think i've laughed that much in a Long long time. It was just what I needed. The kids spent the night w/ my parents and they took them to church w/ them this morning. I need to call and see if they are home yet. lol we ended up spending the night at our friends house. No drinking and driving here! I don't remember falling asleep lol. I DO remember billy falling into bed and snoring away. Man he can Snore! lol All I do know is that it was so much fun and I needed a night that that terribly! It felt so great to just sit around and talk and laugh and not worry or get anxious about stuff. I hope we do it again soon.

AF!!! (TMI!)

I do believe that AF is here! Whooo Hooo! Thursday night late I started getting Red spotting this time. Yah baby! Then yesterday it's Still red and quite a bit more. It's not heavy like I usually is/Was but i'll take what I can get. Maybe as the day goes on it'll get heavier. I Wanted AF here soo bad and I called and got a Presp for provera to get her ass here but I didn't get it filled yet. I Was going to start it tomorrow because tonight is the halloween party! Arrgghh! of course it Would have to be AF on the party night! Oh well. I guess the progesterone worked! Whoo hooo!

What a Great Parent~ Teacher Conferance.

All I can say is that I Thank God our kids are Smart. lol. I honestly don't know where they get it. ha ha . I mean i'm no dummy but i'm not a smarty either. Billy IS Smart so I guess they get it from him.
Billy and I went to the conferances alone. I know imagine that. A L O N E.
Wow! The kids Really wanted to go but they had been fighting and hurting each other All dang day so I called Granny and she said she'd keep em' for us. Yah! Shelbies appt time was at 5:15 but we got an early start so we had time to go to Sams first. They didn't have a certain time to go to his, just drop in. I Really like his teacher for the most part. She's a Real stickler for the rules though. Man! No breaks for the kids at all. I mean if Sam forgets to have me sign his agenda book he gets in trouble. Whatever! But anyway our boy did Fantastic! He got:
Language: A
Reading: B
Science: A
Math: A
Visual Arts: A
Social Studies: A
P.E.: A
Whooo Hooo!!
She said he's Very close to an A in Reading. But he got nervous during the verbal testing. But that she Knew that he was alot more advanced then what that test showed. I'm just so Stinking proud of him.

Shelbie did So great too! They really don't give "Grades" in Kindergarten. Just S's E's and U's Satisfactory, Excellents and UNsatisfactory.
She got all S's! She's at and even Above where she should be in all the areas! Whoo hooo! The only real things we need to work on are recongizing some letters and writing in Lower case instead of all UPPER case. and her speech. We need to keep working on her saying her S's correctly and her F's too. We're trying but she's a stubborn tute!
It was a great conferance and it was so nice to get to spend a few hours with Billy alone.

Parent Teacher Conferances tonight

The kids are out of school today due to Parent/Teacher conferances. I wish they would have done this on a Friday but oh well. lol. Shelbies conferance is tonight at 5:15 and Sams sometime after. His grade doesn't have a set time to come and see the teacher. you just have to go and get worked in. I'm pretty sure Sams doing really good. The only thing I kinda worry about w/ shelbie is her Speech. I saw the speech Teacher at school last week and she said that shelbies teacher was a bit concerned about shelbies speech. She has trouble saying her S's and F's so FISH comes out SISH and S's come out like instead of shelbie it's Selbie. we've been trying to work w/ her on it but she's stubborn. lol. I'll blog about the conferances probably tomorrow.

Which Celeb mom are you? Thanks Jen. :)

Every day with your children is special, but most moms have a favorite activity they share with their kids. Traveling with children and teaching them about other parts of the world is an enriching experience they will carry with them throughout their lives. Angelina Jolie most recently took her tykes to Namibia, where she gave birth to baby Shiloh. Other moms can be found at trendy stores and restaurants with kids in tow. But any time can be quality time--kids will appreciate being part of your life, whether it's sharing your hobbies or just hanging out, doing everyday things.

Cool!

Started Progesterone.

Pretty much for my own records here but I stopped by the health food store yesterday when me and the kids were getting groceries and I got some progesterone cream. I'm Praying SO SO hard that it helps to regulate my cycles and get this stupid spotting to stop. Please God

Just for my records again. TMIl

I just Love these entries *note the scarcasm* Had more spotting yesterday. Dark brown mostly but some reddish color too. Yuck! I'm Soo tired of this crap! I just want my Stupid freaking AF to get here! Almost 4 months late now. Arrgghh

I made my Yearly check up appt today too. I'm going back to my old Ob/Gyn I Love. He's the Dr who delievered Sam and shelbie and he's great! My appt is Feb 15th at 9:00 AM. It's going to cost me a Small fortune to go though because our Shitty insurance doesnt' have him on the PPO.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness day. Kinda the day when everyone remembers their babies they've lost. Funny thing is that I don't need a Special day for that. And the women I know that have lost babies don't either. So I guess it's kinda for the rest of the world to remember kwim? Billy thinks that I should "Be over it and move on" Ummm nope! He back tracked pretty fast after he said that because of the look on my face. I told him that losing our baby is not something that I will Ever get over. I think of him Every Single Solitary day. Sometimes I go outside at night and look up at the stars. I like to imagine that he's looking down at me at the very same time and I talk to him. In my mind mostly because Billy doesn't understand. A friend explained something to her Dh and told me and It explains so much. they lost a baby a while back and they have a 3 year old Daughter and a 7 year old son. She asked him that would he expect her to get over the death of her 3 year old FAST just because she was Younger? Just because they lost their baby inUtero doesn't mean that it didn't count as a baby! Just because they never got to hold him/ her or see him/ her Does Not mean that it wasn't a Baby and doesn't mean that it shouldn't be mourned and it's loss felt! Why Why Why do people who've never had to lose a baby (and even some who have) think that it's like snapping your fingers and you're Over the loss of your baby? Why?! It doesn't work like that. I Still hurt. It's almost been a Year since we lost Zachary and I Still hurt. I have a Permant Ache in my heart. It never goes away. It eases some at times but Never disapears all the way. I know that it never will. I Miss him SO much. I Ache to see him. My Arms Ache to hold him. Just once. Though I know that once would never be enough. I wonder alot who he would have looked like. Sam or shelbie? Why did my baby have to be sick and die when I tried Everything in my power to keep him healthy and safe? Why? That is something I Still wrestle with. How come teenage girls who don't give a Shit about their babies and never see a Dr and never take Prenatal vitamins and eat Shit and drink alcholol have healthy babies? why? I know I'll never get to know why. I Know that God had a reason. It doesn't keep me from wondering though.
Gosh I guess this awareness day was a day for me to get Pissed or something. Like I need a day for that. ..

I pray for Peace and comfort for Every one of my Dear friends and friends i've not met yet who has lost a baby. May God give us strength everyday.

Subbing tomorrow

Got a phone call awhile ago asking me to Substitute Teach tomorrow for the nurse! I've never subbed for her before so i'm Really Really excited about that. Hope everything goes well and I don't kill anyone LOL j/k

Just for my records TMI

Just wanted to document this crap in case I need it someday. I had a bit of spotting yesterday and some cm. Brown of course what else! *rolleyes* Today i've had a itty bitty tiny bit of spotting when I wipe. AF is Still AWOL. I keep feeling like she'll be here any second but Nope! I still have no idea what the hell is going on w/ my body. And I wish I had the $$ to get into see my Ob/Gyn. guess that'll have to wait as usual. Oh well. Most people want AF to go away. Guess i'm weird. lol

Trying again.

Michelle made this for me. Maybe This time it'll show up.

Great it worked this time! whooo hooo.

Michelle made me This.

I Love this and I'm So Glad she made it for me. Thanks Michelle!!

I was a Bit wrong

Praise God that we have that mowing money coming in. We have a total of $4.00 in the bank! That sucks! If it wern't for that money coming in we'd be So screwed! Thank you God.

Just a reminder to me of How God provides

This month we have Truck insurance due And a 125.oo Elect bill due! I was so worried because we're Broke! I told Billy that we Could pay those bills Now but then we'd have about $60.00 to our name. He told me to go ahead and pay them because they Have to be paid and at least we'd have some $$ in the bank. I was pretty worried about it because How can we buy groceries And Gas on $60.00? You can't! Then later that night at around 9:30 my Uncle called and Asked us to Mow the church yard and cemetary agian! Praise God!! That is $245.00! Whoo hooo! I'm so Thankful. God shows me over and over that he meets our needs and Provides.
Thank you God.

Never Mind about AF

She Still hasn't shown her Ugly Shitty face! Guess i'm going to have to call my Gyn for some meds. I wish I knew of some Natural herbs/Minerals that would start it. oh well.