Cramps

Man Oh' Man i've got cramps like crazy right now. Please let that mean that AF is on her way. Please!!!! I'll even hold her hostage for all the women who don't Want her to come to them. I will.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHELBIE

My baby girl is 6 years old today. Where did the years go?
It seems like yesterday that she was a chubby cheeked baby with big ole' brown eyes and curly hair. People would stop me in stores and ohh and ahh over her. today she's a sassy, smart and beautiful 6 year old. Her favorite things in the world are Care bears, bratz dolls and Any kind of stuffed animals. Oh and coloring books, and crafts stuff that she has to do with her grandma because mommy is Very craft challenged LOL I always dreamed of having a daughter and God blessed me with the very best one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHELBIE! Mommy Loves you so much!

10 months

This is just for my memories I guess but I know that some people ( Love ya'll) read my blog. Please Please don't take this as whining.
It's been 10 months since we lost Zachary. I can't believe it's almost been a year since our baby died. 10 months since I almost died. Why does it seem like So long ago and at the same time just like yesterday? The pain has lessend some but it's always still there. In the back of my mind And in my heart. No one in my family has brought it up. At the bingo party last night my friend Shellys Aunt Sue talked to me about our loss. She's the first person in months that has. She lost her daughter Tara a few weeks before we lost zach. Tara had Downs and became very sick and was in the hospital. She never got better and never left the hospital. She was such a sweet girl. Her mom and step Dad keep her room Exactly the same as when she left. I feel so badly for them. They miss her so much. But she knows the pain of loss and she understands. it's nice to get to talk to someone IRL that understands. most people think when you lose a baby you should just "Get over it" you know time has gone by. They think that the loss and Pain has just evaporated. I'm sorry it doesn't! It'll Always be with me. Forever. Zachary should be here with us right now! He should be 4 months old! I don't understand it and I know I never will.
Mommy Loves you So much Zachary. To the moon and back.

I'm not taking the job

Well after a Lot of prayer and thinking about it none stop. I've decided Not to take the receptionest job. mainly because Everytime I think about it I get a knot in my stomach. And I keep feeling like this is not what God wants for me to do. It's hard to put in words but this is just how I feel. I know that the Perfect job is out there for me but this is not it. I've worked as a receptionest before and looking back i remember how Stressful and hard it was and how high pressure and stress and I don't want that again. no one is going to understand. Billy will but my mom will Not! Oh well it's not her life. I applied to sub at another school today so that I pray that I will have 2 differant school systems calling me. I'm praying that means more work. I know it'll all work out. God is with me.

Substitute Days To Remember!

I guess this is for My Records lol. I got a Call today from the school. My cousin S teaches there and she requested me to sub in her place.
Sept 19th. October. 18th. November 17th. December 12th. And January 24th.
well at least I get to sub some lol

I HATE Being Sick

Well now that the kids are better (Thank God) I am now Sick. :(
My head is so stuffed up and my sinuses are Killing me. Plus I've got Chills and body aches and i'm coughing like crazy. I feel like death warmed over. Not fun.
I've got So much to do around here today and no energy to do it. I did get the dishes done though so i'm counting that as an accomplishment lol. I Need to do laundry but my head hurts so bad I just want to lay down. I may just do that.

Big Meeting * Ya Right!

I'm so Pissed! Here we thought that because the Big wig of the co Billy works for was coming down that finally Something would get done. That Finally they would tell everyone What was Really going on. well you know what? The Ass did come down But all he did was tell Everyone what they already knew! Yeah went over the same sh*t as before. He told em' the the copper market is down right now. (Duh!) and that everyone in the copper business is hurting. (another Duh!) But that they are working on getting a new line of pipes going and they want to do it asap because there is only 1 other company out there that does it. *whatever!* But things are going to keep being hard on everyone for at Least the next couple of months. Arrgghhhhhhh! WE Knew all this before!
I had an anxiety attack last night after Billy telling me all this. My first one ever. Billy wants to stick w/. his job for now. DAMN IT!! God forgive me. I will support my husband 100% but I wish to God he would apply at the Gas co.

BIG meeting today

Well there is a BIG meeting today at Billys work. The Big wig from Indiana is coming down to talk to everyone. I'm Really curious And nervous to see what happens and for Billy to come home and tell me what the Dude said. I've been praying so hard for Gods will to be done. I've been thinking about it and I hate for Billy to pass up the opportunity to possibly work for the Gas company But I hate for him to leave his job now IF it's going to get better. It's so hard right now. He's been there 19 years. That's a Long time. He's got wonderful dear friends there and when things are 'Good" he really likes his job. I just feel so bad for him to have to go through all this. Things are so up in the air. No one knows What is going to happen. I just Pray So hard that the big wig is honest with everyone and tells them Really what is going on. They Really need the honesty down there. Yikes i'm so nervous i'm shaking.
Please God let your will be done.

Praise God moments!

I am praising God! Sams therapy is over. His therapist called and we talked about how Sam was/Is doing and we decided to terminate his therapy. He's been doing so Great! No more nightmares or bad thoughts. And his worrying is down to next to nothing. I'm So Thankful to God for making my boy so much better.

Another Praise God moment was yesterday. Billy got a Check from Unemployment! AND he finished the side job he and his best friend have been doing. it's taken MONTHS! to get this finished. The guy they did this for works with them at the plant and he went ahead and paid Billy and S last month for the rest of the work. Well last night Billy got home at 11:00 pm because they wanted to finish the job once and for all! And he had another CHECK! G paid him More money! Praise God!
The Lord keeps heaping blessings on us. He truly does provide