Depression and Anxiety

For about the last month & a half I've been dealing with depression and anxiety. it comes and goes but it's mostly here everyday. Friday was a Great day. I felt so great and didn't feel so depressed or worried about stuff. That's my problem I have this Certain worry and I obsess on it. I can't seem to stop it. And then it depresses me. I've noticed that it's started to effect my husband and kids and I can Not go on like this anymore. I'm going to try to get into my Drs tomorrow to see about getting something to help me. Please God. I hate this heavy Sad and worrying feeling.

Grandpas Funeral

His Funeral was today. I have to say that right now i'm emotionally and physically exhausted. Billy had to work today but he took off at noon to go with me. My grandpa was as much His grandpa because Billys grandpas both died when Billy was very young. They had a lot in common. It was a Beautiful service. We got there at 1:30 and Thank God we did. The section where the family sat was Full! I'll admit I was a bit irritated that I couldn't sit with my "FAmily" but the funeral director made a special place in the front pews just for family. Billy and I got to sit with my Cousin Sarah and her DH. I'm Glad. Sarah used to be my very bestest friend. I couldn't believe how many people were there. they said that there was about 400! Grandpa touched so many lives. So many people. It amazed me. After that service we all went to the Cemetary. He was buried where Billy and I mow so I'm So glad it looked nice and neat. I was crying a bit but I started bawling when we drove up to the Cemetary and I saw Men in Milatary uniforms. My Grandpa had been in WW2 and was MIA/POW at one time during the war. he had milatary honors. After the preacher said his peace the soldiers folded the flag and gave it to my grandmother. Then they played Taps. OMG! Talk about not a dry eye anywhere. It was such a hard hard day. But I know that my Grandpa is at peace with God. And that makes all the differance in the world.

My Grandpa Died

My Sweet wonderful Grandpa Died last night at 11:50 pm. Surrounded by so many family members who loved him So much. He slipped peacefully into Gods waiting arms. I can't believe he's gone. :( My heart just breaks for my Grandma. They'd been married 67 years. His funeral is Wed at 2:00pm

Happy birthday my baby boy

My Sweet Zach. You would have been 1year old today. How is it that a year has gone by since your Due date? my heart aches so much for you today. We s hould be having your first big birthday party today with all your grandparents and cousins. it would have been such fun. I can just picture you digging into that cake and getting into the presents. Gosh I miss you. I'd give anything to have you here with me today. It's not fair. Mommy Loves you baby.

Started Progesterone. Again. lol.

Just for my records.. again. lol. I started the progesterone again last night. Per the instructions in dr. Lees book. I'm praying that it keeps working for me.

AF ended

Just for my own records... AF ended sunday like Clockwork! yah!! 7 day AF like I used to get. I'm both amazed and So Thankful to God. I'm praying that my body is back on track now.

Nervous about Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have my very first mammogram. And i'm going to be honest. I'm Really nervous and scared about it. Not so much about the mammogram it'sself it's the results that i'm nervous about. I'm just so ready for it to be Over and get the results back. I've been praying so hard that God will be with me tomorrow and help me through it. I know he will be. He Always is. :) I'm also praying that Everything with the mammogram comes back Normal and healthy. Please God. Please God let everything go great tomorrow with my mammogram and please let the results of it be great and everything be healthy. Amen.