It's Funny the things people tell themselves to make them feel better

Yesterday I was out at my parents house waiting to get the kids off the school bus. My dad was home and we were sitting there watching Dr.Phil. He was/is trying to help 2 Twins get off herion. One is 6 months Pregnant! Yep Smoking, snorting, shooting up Herion and Pregnant. Oh and smoking. I guess she's Off herion now or whatever but Dr.Phil was all over her for smoking and being pregnant. YOU GO DR.PHIL! He asked her What she was going to tell her child after it was born about smoking when she was pregnant. He told her she might as well be sprinkling Arscinc on her baby right now! So I got to thinking. What is it that my cousin who is pregnant right now tell herself when she's smoking? What excuse? I'd Really like to know. My cousins SIL, the one who had her baby right after I lost Zach told her that " Oh heck T smoking doesn't hurt the baby when your pregnant!" " Just look at Mckayla, she's here and fine" I wanted to Bitch slap her! See I know what she was telling Herself, I Didn't matter! To her her babies health was second after her right to smoke. I think that all her kids are second to Everything else in her life. She has 2 boys from a previous relationship and then she and my cousin D have a little boy K who's almost 2 and then SHE decided she wanted another baby so that she didn't have to go to work. Yep her words not mine! So even though D Did Not want another baby she threw away her birth control pills and got pregnant. just like that. she got what She wanted and to hell with her other kids Or husband. I guess I sound jealous. But i'm really not. I'm bitter I guess. Bitter because some people seem to get Everything They want no matter what they do or how they act or live their lives. While there are SO many women that want a baby more then Anything on Earth and are denied over and over again. women who would make The best mommies in the World. It makes me sick. It makes me So mad. Here my cousins wife is with 4 kids now and doesn't give a shit about them. They are Always filthy with nasty matted hair and smell. Now don't get me wrong. Getting dirty is Not a problem But Staying that way is. A little soap and water would work wonders. And yes they have that. They have a house that was Given to them. A minivan that was Given to them. She works for Nothing. And appreciates less. I'm not saying that getting things for Free is always wrong. Crap when Sam was a baby Billys mom/Dad gave us my BILs old car he didn't drive anymore. But We appreciated it and told them Thank you everytime we saw them. And we do things for them too. Help them with whatever we can.
Man I guess I really despise her alot. When I see my cousins wife anywhere I just want to go Postal on her. I know someones gonna read this and say I need some therapy lol. Maybe I do. How do I let go of the bitterness? The Unfairness of it all?