The Day finally arrived

It is so hard to believe but today would have been my Due Date. I know that I would have had him earlier then this date but this is THE date. I've been keeping myself so busy today, We went to church at my Inlaws Church today to suprise her. She was really suprised and loved it! I'm so glad that we could do something to make her mothers day so special. She's such a great lady!
But then now that i'm sitting here it's kind of snuck up on me. The Sadness that is :(
Our baby would have been here today. Should have been here today. I do feel a comfort though. I know that Zachary is up in heaven looking down on me sitting here thinking of him. It's a big circle :) He watches me and I think of him. wow! he's happy though. I know that. He's not sick anymore and he will never have to be poked and tests done on him. he'll never know any pain. But then until I get up there with him i'll not know what it would have felt like to hold him in my arms. To smell that wonderful sweet baby smell that is all his own. To hear him cry to nurse him to just sit and look at him.
I love you baby so much. And I miss you so much.