Applied For a Job today

Well I did it. I went today and put in my application for the Special education paraprofessional aide job at Sams school. OMG I was sooo nervous about it. I haven't held down a Full time Paying job in 10 years! That's a long time. I mean i've worked P/T for a friend of my sils when sam was 2 but that was temp and only a few days a week and only for 2 months. Then i've subbed for the last 2 years But that was only every once in awhile. Gosh what if I get this job? What if I don't? What if I do and hate it? What if I get it and Love it? Ahhhh!
So many thoughts and feelings are swirling around in my head. A Big part of me would Love Love Love to just substitute again this year and that way I could still be avaliable to go to shelbies field trips and help in her kindergarten room. And I could be home when the kids are in school. OMG that would be Awsome to have a day Home just me! by myself! What would that be like? lol. But then I think about the fact that we Really need the income that a F/T permant job would give us. I Despertly need a new car. I mean badly! But could we afford one if i just sub? Probably. But it would be a Lot easier if I was working everyday. I was told by the receptionist at the school at the end of school this year that if I wanted to sub again this coming school year that they would keep me busy. I had to turn them down So much last year due to shelbie being in preschool and my MIL only being able to watch shelbie a few days a week so I could sub. I get paid $60.00 a day to sub. Even if I only subbed 1 day a week that would Still be $240.00 a month. almost enough for a car payment. But then the extras? Like school supplies etc.. that Always come up? I want and Need to make things easier on Billy now that I can. He's worked 2 and even 3 jobs sometimes to make ends meet for me to be able to stay home with the kids. I feel like it's My turn to help out $$ wise. It would be so great for Billy to be able to have a day Off, I mean really Off. But honestly my husband is a work alcholic! He can't stay still for a second. even after he had knee surgery wayy back. It drove him Crazy to have to sit still lol.
But when all is said and done it is not up to me whether I get this job or not. I am trying so hard to Totally give it up to God. I prayed that God's will be done on whether I get this job or not. Because in the end it's his will that is best.

I have No idea when they'll do interviews. So I wait.... I gave them both my home # and Cell phone # so i'm covered. lol. Arrgghh the wait!