First Entry

Wow So here it Starts. My first entry.
So I guess i'll start with my name is Shelly. I've been Happily married to my high school sweetheart since May 1990! Wow almost 16 years! We have 2 wonderful kids, Sam is 9 and in 3rd grade and Shelbie is 5 and in preschool. She'll go to kindergarten this fall. It's breaking my heart :(
We also have a baby in heaven. We lost him on November 22nd of 2005. He had Trisomy 18 and died in utero at 15 weeks 2 days. I have had a hard time dealing with his loss. And what makes it harder was the recovery from the mistake that the dr made which put me in ICU for 5 days and on a Ventiltor for 2 of those days. He reptured my uterus during the D&C and punctured a hole in it. I came very very close to death. My cousin Sarah said that when the ambulance pulled up to the ER at the main hospital she was there and when they brought me out of the ambulance my heart rate was NOTHING. I had No heart rate at all. Thank God I don't remember that. Though what is weird is that everytime I see or hear an ambulance I shudder. And feel fear. probably just my imagination. I still hurt so much thinking about our baby. His name is Zachary. Gosh I miss him so much. And sometimes at night i'll go outside and look up at the tinest star and talk to him. I think he can hear me in heaven. It helps to know that he's not suffering and he has no pain with God.
I wish I could say the same about me.
I'm a Stay at home mom, i've been a SAHM since 1996! Wow that's a long time. lol. I have Loved it so much. i'm so blessed to know that I got to see their firsts and I got to instill their values. I hate to think about this coming fall when I have to go back to work. But really I need to $$ wise.
My poor DH Billy has worked so hard to provide for us and I Love him for that. It's just My turn to help out.
More later